true self, false self

True Self	false self
Has nothing to do with performance	What you have done and others have done to you
Non-acquired	Acquired, constructed, crafted
Who I am; my Being-ness, true identity	Who I think I am and need to be; roles I play
Basis for joy and security	Insecure and defensive
Still, silent, deep knowing, beyond words	Talkative, wordy, proving, needing validation
Indestructible and eternal	Hurtable, sensitive, defensive
Essence	Ego
Secure, unconditional worthiness and love	Asserts itself for approval, security, control
Contemplative	Compulsive
Fully connected, Oneness, We	Separate and disconnected self, us/them, other
Inherently worthy and unconditionally loved	Striving, comparing, competing, earning
Nonattached	Attached
Contentment, enough	Dissatisfaction, complaining, grievance, lack
Nonreactive, present, aware, conscious	Reactive, resistant, threatened, judgmental
Open, committed to the larger story	Closed, needing to be right and to win

How do work with our ego/false self? Well, we can't kill it, and we can't try from within our false self power to change. Richard Rohr says, "Only the True Self is strong enough to let go of the false self." Only in surrender to this higher power, "falling into God," can we be secure enough to loosen false self patterns.

Richard Rohr has a great teaching on the Enneagram on YouTube. He describes the spiritual growth path as the 3 following "slinky" steps that are always in process:

1. Disidentify with the false self- by self observation not judgment. Become a compassionate witness to our patterns; a friend to our shadow and reactivity. Accept ourselves. "Oh, I'm doing this. I recognize that I do that a lot when this thing happens." "I am noticing what triggers me and what I feel in my body when triggered." "I observe that I'm closed and defensive right now." Get curious, inquire. "I recognize this fear. This is the story I'm telling myself right now."

2. Identify with another source/energy. Our false self is highly hurtable and sensitive, and we can get trapped in humiliation or negative self talk when we begin "shadow-boxing" with our false self. That kind of judgment is just further ego strategy. The comparative, judgmental mind is the ego mind. Grace and liberation comes when we fall into God. There are a lot of ways to say this: Hand our lives over to a higher power, surrender to the divine, reconnect with Source, live by the Spirit, fall into our True Self in God, come Home, move into the larger story of our soul.

3. Take back the appropriate energy of the false self and integrate it. We learn not to deny, resist, or reject our shadow or ego patterns. We integrate as a whole person. Instead of judging or trying to hide the parts of us we have hated or found "unacceptable", we welcome them as teachers and learn to live in a gracious acceptance of "what is". This is a place of grace, surrender, compassion, greater awareness, ease. We are no longer trying to "cut off" or "kill" our false self. We find ourselves less attached to our false selves and living more freely and lovingly from our whole.

THIS IS THE WHOLEHEARTED JOURNEY!

Right foot, Left foot, Beloveds!